Uxbridge English Dictionary

[mjb]

Freely adapted from the game played in "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue."

The idea is to provide new definitions for existing English words to, perhaps, reflect our changing times.

For example:

Lymph - to walk with a lisp.

Countryside - to kill Piers Morgan (courtesy of Stephen Fry)

Animate - to be too fond of your pet.

Perversion - the cat's story.

[Monte Smith]

Hegemony - clippers.

[mjb]

Contrite - not in favour of the commonplace

[mjb]

Pupil - medication for people sitting in church

[pig pen]

egocentric - the method of arranging a plate of food with a tasty waffle in the centre.

[bluenoter]

Algorithm - a characteristic manifested by a former vice president's stiff, jerky movements


(Oh, crap; I see that it's been done. What did I expect?)

[A. Kingstone]

Domicile - The lane in a store where one finds leather clad women.

[Ron Thorne]

Terrible - A feeling engendered annually in Pamplona, Spain.

[mjb]

Participle - not a complete iciple.

Example - used to be rather large.

[Monte Smith]

prix fixe - a cream or ointment usually used once to no good effect

[Douglas]

Prefect - period before life went pear shaped (father ted dialect)

You all know the politics definition

[Jimmy Cantiello]

triangle - to fish with three fishing poles simultaneously.

[mjb]

Peccadillo - an interestingly shaped small cigar.

[steve(thelil)]

specimen = Italian Astronaut

Bipolar: Sexually versatile in cold weather

Autoharp: Many stringed vehicle

[mjb]

Tennis - isn't 9 or 11

Expire - used to be on top of a church

[mjb]

Lactic - broken watch

Pumpernickel - question a coin.

[pig pen]

Twerk - What a twerp does when when having a seizure

[mjb]

Twerk - where people go to earn money.

[mjb]

Masticate - self abuse using part of a ship.

[Jimmy Cantiello]

charmed - armed with a chair.

[mjb]

cuticles - rather nice testicles

[mjb]

pastoral - too old for foreplay

[Mr. Met]

Zombie: the part of the alphabet that comes after Zombay.

[mjb]

bearings - Yogi's jewelry

shampoo - not the real shit

champagne - pretending it hurts

[mjb]

meander - she and I

predict - virgin